Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
