he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
