You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
