ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
