yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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