it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
