i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
even my farts smell like vagina
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
your like the ambassador to my penis.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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