If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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