guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
