You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
