the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
