i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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