his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
