i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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