New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
