I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
