my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm having to shit out rocks
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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