I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
