ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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