You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
