bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
