i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We need a shit load of segways right now
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
