covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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