should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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