2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
