..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
