I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
