Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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