Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My vagina is officially offended.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
