peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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