i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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