i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
