I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
