I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Dear god my vagina.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize