Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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