How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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