I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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