Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize