I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Come share oat with me in your robe
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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