So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
