im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
