Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
