Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This show inspires me to have sex in space
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
