I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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