you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize