If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize