"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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