shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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