OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
...so i touched it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
