the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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