his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
