It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize