Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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