I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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