i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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