just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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