if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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