I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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